New Years Blue

everyone always thinks the new year is a great time of year. You get to start with a clean state, fix old friendships, make new ones and reinvent yourself (Like I need a specific time of the year to do that..). But there are the unfortunate few of us who instead of feeling rejuvenated feel a gnawing feeling in our guts that something isn't right or something isn't good enough. Yes, my friends, I speak of the dreaded new years blues.

this is not so dissimilar to the equally horrible February blues because although February is the shortest month in our calendar it always feels the longs thus we all get stuck with the blues. I think it has a lot to do with the lack of sun and the abundance of darkness that surrounds us for the month but I digress. I'm stuck in a rut where all I can think about is "how can this year be any better than the last?". I mean, the last year hasn't been that great but if the last few months are an indicator of the way the next 12 months are going to be things aren't looking up. Never before have I been so busy, stressed, forgetful, irritable, angsty and generally hard to get along with and it's starting to bother me. But whenever I try to fix it and be a better person I just get frustrated with the idiots around me and go back to my ways of storming through the halls, pushing people out of my way and keeping to myself for the most part.

Today was my first full day back at school and my work load as already accumulated enough to make me want to go crawl into my bed. I mean really, your first day back should send you running for the hill should it? Whats worse is that I can't focus for more than a few minutes (this is really hard to write because I keep on looking at other things and it's just not good). So with that lovely combination of not being able to focus and piles of homework I can just feel the pressure mounting in my head.

I would say I need some nice relaxing music but I have plenty of that. So I think I'm going to curl up for a bit and listen to some Wintersleep and maybe get some sleep. I hope your new year is going way better than mine.